i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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