The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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