Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
