Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
