that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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