Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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