oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
