Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i dont even know how to be here
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
