:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
