operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
