i just google imaged poop.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
