I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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