WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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