Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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