Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
