I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
