For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize