Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
