idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
