I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
