please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
