My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
