We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
