who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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