I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Houston, we have a blender
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize