Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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