I'm lost and stupid without you.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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