whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
