no. you can't hotbox the world.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
