My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The feeling are messing with the penis
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize