i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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