great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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