so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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