idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
