false alarm. still invincible.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
