As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
