at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
