I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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