It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
