She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
