I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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