no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
