Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
