is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
