its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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