was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
