What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The adults are the big ones right?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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