dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think im going to throw up on grandma
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
