I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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