Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
