Can Purell be used as lube?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
