it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You're like the curious george of whores
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The Olympian is in my bed
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize