With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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