yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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