Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
