I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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