I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
