plz talk dirty to me
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
