Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
