I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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