I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
