All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
