Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
