there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
not ubering you a puppy
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
