I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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