Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
