I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
