Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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