Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
