Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
