Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize