If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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