First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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