the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
