Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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