I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
