I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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