my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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